ASIF MEETS….AKILO AKA ‘THE AFRICAN GANGSTAR’
09 April 2009 19:18
Asif meets….Akilo aka ‘The African GangStar’
On hearing the news that my old friend Akilo was to return home to his beloved Dar es Salaam for good I had no alternative but to come out of retirement, dust of my Dictaphone and do 1 last interview with the now infamous ‘African GangStar’.
We agreed to meet at ‘Taste of Lahore’ a venue we shared many a great meal together. I began by asking Akilo what prompted him to come to the UK in the first place all those years ago?
“Back home in Africa I used to get regular post cards from my good friend MKB about life in London. The postcards used to have pictures of Big Ben, Azaad Paan Hut, Houses of Parliament etc and I thought to myself this is where I want to be. I used to go to bed dreaming about 1 day making it to the legendary Paan Hut! Then on Tuesday 13th February (I remember the day like it was yesterday) as I was chasing a Madafu truck along Oyster Bay beach I spotted a cruise ship bound for England and saw it as my chance. Without a second thought I managed to smuggle myself onto the boat and 2 weeks later myself together with an Algerian found ourselves at the white cliffs of Dover. With no passport or documents and simply a stench of onions on us we snuck into a truck and awoke the next morning at Harrow Bus Stop.”
What happened once you arrived at Harrow Bus Stop?
“Luckily I had a post card from MKB in my jacket pocket with his mobile number on it. I had no money so made a reverse charge call to him. MKB being the cheap guy that he is refused to accept the charges until I pretended to be his cousin from Arusha with a parcel for him.”
Where did you stay in the UK?
“I rented a room at the legendary East Africa House based above the satellite shop in Harrow. It was a home away from home for students from East Africa. We had a great group of people staying there that included Premji, MKB, Pira, Pope, Pardhan and Deepak.”
Tell me about your love for Masumeen UTD?
“Three seasons ago I got a call from manager Ladaks asking if Id like to play for the club. I jumped at the opportunity as Id not had exercise for nearly 6 months. As time has passed I’ve come to love the club and its fans and will miss running out on the hallow turfs of Ruislip every Sunday night.”
Do you think the club will finally gain promotion to the Premiership?
“I’m confident we will. We are 4 points clear of Zakhmi and I believe in my team mates to see the job through. I was also touched and honoured when manager Ladaks announced he will be retiring my number 7 shirt once I leave.”
Is there any truth in the rumours that your return back to Africa is coupled with your new role as Chief Scout for Ikhwaan?
“Absolutely not. I admit I was approached by Ikhwaan Chairman Safder about a possible role but after you exposed ‘M…oney K…iderhe B…hai’ I thought it best to stay away from such a tie up. Plus my heart is with Masumeen I could not imagine working with any other club apart from them.”
Finally I asked him about his recent role as Assistant Secretary at SJ’s?
“My Visa was about to expire in the UK and I was due for deportation. My good friend Saf told me about Chairman Joey and his story. On becoming Chairman of SJ’s the British Government awarded him indefinite stay in the UK and I saw this as my best opportunity to stay here. Thus at the recent elections I was elected unopposed to the post of Asst. Sec for which I have really enjoyed.”
As we were about to go our separate ways I asked about whatever happened to the Algerian who was on the boat with him?
“Oh that guy……. years later I met him again……..he now manages Jimmys Food Van at the Mosque!!!!”
As the British Isles says farewell to another potential benefits fraudster, Africa welcomes home its ‘King of the Jungle’.
